We collectively don’t do a good job of surrounding ourselves with the right people. Here is what I mean:
We all want success. Whether that’s in our relationships, academics, spiritual vitality, or athletics. Why does it seem like so few people actually find fulfillment in areas like these? The answer lies in our standards. You need to get rid of negative people who bring you down and raise your standards for the personnel in your inner circle.
This thinking is similar to the law of attraction, dating back to the Chinese philosopher Confucius in the 6th century. “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” This idea feels like it hasn’t caught up to our Generation Z methods. Put aside the fear of being wrong and gain knowledge from those who lend it to help you grow.
What we tend to focus on, we attract; who we spend the most time with is who we will eventually become. This is more than just a Hobby Lobby quote. If we put out negative energy on campus, we will feel like we are living under thick Kentucky clouds. Reaching the pressure of success seems to be falling away from yourself.
I feel like college students are batteries under those clouds, waking up each day, hopefully recharged at 100 percent. Going through classes and activities slowly drains the battery, as they should. Often, we pursue and contribute to other people’s charge level at the cost of giving up some of our own. But what happens when we forget to plug in the battery to charge at night, or others require more charge than we have to give? There is no charge for your test, game or relationship. Just like looking at your screen time, try to recognize which applications or people who are taking the most battery and time. I found myself asking, how much of my battery am I giving to my spiritual life and my closest relationship? Look at which people and situations drain your battery the most. Are those people worth it?
Waiting until a toxic person in your life has brought you so far down that you almost forget how to get back up is the biggest mistake. Surrounding yourself with people who inspire you, encourage you and help you realize your potential can have the biggest impact. Not to mention, they will charge your battery so that you have more to give.
There are people whom you can’t eliminate from your life, like co-workers, classmates or professors. There are some proven ways to protect your positive attitude from the influence of others, even if you’re stuck with them on our small campus.
The common complainer and negative personnel oftentimes want people to join their party. We can feel pressure to listen to these negative individuals because we don’t want to be seen as rude or judgemental, but there tends to be a huge difference between lending a sympathetic ear and getting bitten by the jaws of an emotional piranha. Join the party and get thrown into the pit, where they eat each other alive. The lifeline is to set limits, asking complainers how they intend to fix the problem, rather than dwell on the same dilemma.
After identifying these possible bloodsuckers, what will we do about it? I found the more I poured into the people that poured into me, the more full I felt. College is draining enough, but I was tired of attempting to fill people and becoming empty myself. For once, in this situation, be selfish and again fill those that fill you.
Finally, reach out to those whom you have not attempted to fill. The skill of recognizing those negative bodies before you pour a single drop is a skill that I am still trying to get down. Recognize those who are taking advantage of your generosity, and run for the hills, fast. The biggest reward is finding yet another person who could pour just as much into you and help you grow as an individual. At Asbury, I believe those people aren’t far away if you’re open to the idea, and surround yourself with them.