I realized that my body is not invincible in 2022. Beyond the occasional flu or virus, I have had the privilege of decent physical health my entire life. But 2022 was different.
First, I must disclaim that I am still very fortunate. While my physical health hasn’t been very good in the past year, I know it could be much worse. Not only that, but I am privileged to have access to decent health care that makes these things manageable. There are people who live with chronic illnesses daily, and their voices and experiences are crucial. Many cannot afford the kind of health care that I receive. I am still rather fortunate, and I recognize that.
In 2022 I was sick multiple times a month, including three cases of tonsilitis within two months (and continuing into this year). Last summer, I began waking up every morning with debilitating migraines and nausea, unable to move, and this continued until the end of the year. It turns out that the muscles in my neck were so tense they had been pinching a nerve in my spinal cord, causing these issues.
The pinnacle of the year was hardly noticeable at first. Small bruises appeared up and down my legs. I am incredibly clumsy and wrote it off quickly, thinking I had just run into something. But eventually, the pain was worse, the bruises got bigger, and a doctor told me it was something he’d never seen before, only heard of.
Erythema Nodosum is a rare condition with causes having been only speculated for years. But with only 200,000 total cases a year, research is difficult. Seemingly out of nowhere, painful bruises appear and can remain on the legs for months. Mine lasted from around October to February of 2023. In recent years more research has come out explaining a probable cause for Erythema Nodosum and similar inflammatory conditions: stress.
People who are perpetually stressed or have anxiety disorders are far more likely to experience this condition.
Stress manifested in my body to the point that bruises appeared out of nowhere.
Coincidentally this year of health issues began with my worsening mental health, increasingly busy schedule, and higher stress levels due to my job, schooling and personal life.
Yet I still separated my mental and physical wellness into two separate categories.
Psychiatrist and PTSD specialist Bessel van der Kolk, MD, explores this in his book “The Body Keeps Score.” Kolk dedicates hundreds of pages to discussing the interconnectedness of our bodies and minds and the toll that stress, specifically trauma, plays on our physical health. Kolk claims, “After trauma, the world is experienced with a different nervous system. The survivor’s energy now becomes focused on suppressing inner chaos, at the expense of spontaneous involvement in their lives. These attempts to control unbearable physiological reactions can result in a range of physical symptoms, including fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and other autoimmune diseases. This explains why it is critical for trauma treatment to engage the entire organism, body, mind, and brain.”
While often the physical effects are most extreme with individuals who suffer from PTSD or CPTSD, as well as other extreme forms of trauma and mental stress, this is not confined to these conditions. The interconnectedness of our mental health and physical body has implications for everyone.
We often have difficulty seeing the connection between our mental and physical health because of the compartmentalization between mind and body. We don’t like to accept that mental distress can make us physically sick because they seem like two different worlds.
But why are our pain receptors in our brains and not just placed around our bodies? When we receive bad news, why do we describe the feeling of our stomach dropping? Why do we intricately know the physical sensation of our heart tightening when thinking of someone we love? Why do we cry when we are sad or angry or even overwhelmingly happy?
Our brain sends signals to our bodies.
Our minds and bodies exist intricately together and cannot be separated. When caring for our health, we must remember the importance of caring for our mental health. Incredibly high amounts of stress over the long term will have negative effects, no matter how much we try to push through.
When our bodies are in pain, it might just mean our minds have something to tell us.