Do you struggle to see the good in people?
Does irritation follow you like a dark cloud, raining on your mood when those around you do stupid or hurtful things?
For those who find it challenging to look at their Christian brothers and sisters, as well as their non-Christian friends, with consistent respect and kindness, this is for you.
Authenticity is hard to come by, even in Christian circles. One person may profess that Jesus has changed their heart and saved them from their past life of sin, but it’s hard to trust their claim when hypocrisy is socially acceptable. Our hyper awareness of those around us through social media makes it all too easy to become disillusioned. Posts and pictures on popular platforms give us a front-row seat to how sin can creep back into our lives. Consistent discouragement will eventually lead to hopelessness and cynicism.
How can we appreciate and celebrate God’s works in someone if our hearts are barricaded with doubts and buttressed with disbelief?
My desire to answer this question pushed me to seek out some friends who exhibit gentleness and compassion persistently.
Katherine Stanley, one of the most energetic running buddies I’ve ever had, inspires me through the ways she sees others through God’s eyes.
She is all too aware of her biases and the jaded nature with which she looks at those around her. Hurt people hurt people, continuing a cycle of fear, mistrust and insecurity. Katherine finds that when she is annoyed or frustrated with those around her, she strives to remind herself of whose image they carry. There are many times when her first reaction is irritation, crying out to God in disbelief that these are the people He’s died for. Yet the Father’s answer always centers around how wide, deep and far His love stretches.
Katherine has experienced the Lord’s power firsthand through how He’s revealed the attributes He loves in people she hates.
“Let God manually open your eyes! Everyone around you has worth, and he loves showing this to you.”
Charlie Cox, a dear friend during my time at Asbury, was another person that stuck out to me when I thought about the practice of seeing others through God’s eyes.
His approach to this challenge is to remember “not to view them as who they are, but who they’re meant to be.”
Jesus’s blood doesn’t just cover those living according to Christian morals and values. Each human being has innate value even if they haven’t excepted Christ.
Charlie recognizes that “it’s difficult to love people who aren’t believers, but you have to remember that you have a connection. You share the same Dad!”
Yet for those who find cynicism, doubt and discouragement to be daily struggles, I decided to do some additional digging and ask for practical tips and tricks.
Katherine’s advice was to focus less on the injustice and backwardness of those around you- and more on God’s power and loving nature. Sometimes we distance ourselves from hypocrites because we’re fearful our proximity means we’re endorsing their words or actions. It takes way more effort to love these people, and they’re much easier to hate.
Ask to be infused with the Holy Spirit’s strength.
Charlie’s advice centered around Paul’s conduct toward the Corinthians in the New Testament. The Corinthian Christians were not living in a way that honored God and brought glory to his name. Yet when Paul found out, he didn’t write them an angry letter, ranting and raving about their hypocrisy. Instead, he began his letter with gentleness and encouragement!
Charlie recognizes that it’s easy for him “to be all fire and brimstone when it comes to the treatment of hypocrites in my life— they prove unbelievers’ points right, and it makes me angry. However, my advice is to be gentle.”
We shouldn’t be silent about sin but must let gentleness color our words and actions.
No one is consistently admirable besides God. We’ve all made mistakes because we’re broken people. Yet we cannot let fear, mistrust and insecurities damage our hope in the power and goodness of God’s transformative love.
Ask for your Father’s eyes.
He will radically change your life.