We live in a fast-paced society.
Our consumption of media is constantly in one ear and out the other. As we move to the next thing, we can be quick to respond and react without truly thinking about what is entering our minds and exiting our mouths. Multiple times a day I find myself texting someone back while responding to someone talking to me in person, and the result is a lackluster amount of effort in both discussions. We loosely blanket this act as “multitasking,” but if you asked me ten minutes later what I was saying to either person, I would not be able to tell you. We are losing the intentionality in and the power of the words we are saying.
Instead of defining the way we feel about something, we usually refer to blanket, popular phrases that describe a lot of different things. The most bothersome example of this for me is the way we use the word love.
We say it to our friends, our family members, even strangers. It casually slips from our tongues with quiet ignorance, and we continue to go about our day as if we did not say minute words with incredibly significant weight. We comment on random people’s Instagram posts that we love them, use it in farewell or say it when a priority parking spot is relieved of its previous car. But are we thinking about the gravity of the words we are speaking?
We have started to use the word “love” in avoidance of finding the words we actually want to say. Jesus calls us to love our neighbor, but are we really using the word in that sense? Or are we using it as a quick fix to show superficial, relative care about something?
At the end of the day, I do not love my AirPods even though I may say as much. I find them incredibly useful and necessary when needed, but I do not have a deep, profound love for them (though a poet may). Recycling a word like “love” over and over again can push you unintentionally into distorting and limiting its value.
In a sense, the same can be said in reference to explicit language. Instead of being an exclamation to use when something is bad or hard, it is becoming commonplace to use in every type of situation. This has a duplicity to it unlike the word “love.”
In some ways, it is good that these words are being overused. They should not have power in our lives to begin with as they are man-made. Someone decided that these words are inherently “bad,” and repeating them loses the Voldemort stigma around them.
However, like the word “love,” if you recycle the same words over and over again they will lose their emphasis in conversation when describing poor conditions or situations. If you apply the same words repeatedly in conversation involving situations with different weights, they end up weighing the same.
How do we eliminate this constant struggle of meaningless word recycling? I am not sure we will ever be able to eradicate it completely. Our vocabularies constantly ebb and flow to the tune of whatever the media is telling us. But here are some ways I personally attempt to keep the value and weight in the words that I say.
- Take one conversation at a time
Do not try to have more than one conversation at once. It is quite frankly unattainable to have a good, in-person conversation while texting someone else at the same time. I have found myself using phrases of no value in both conversations when I do this. The potential of a valuable epiphany or a listening ear disappears when you are trying to keep up with everything all at once. Take a deep breath and focus on one conversation at a time so your words can be more impactful.
- Broaden your vocabulary
The English language is so vast. There are plenty of words you could use to portray what you intend to say. You just have to seek them out. Not only will it help you sound literate, but it will show to people you communicate with that you are deeply thinking about the statements you make. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media, try and break away from your phone for a little while. Read a poem or book, or even listen to the conversations that are going on around you. You are bound to find something new or even thoughts you have had that you could not put into words.
- Pause
Allow yourself to pause when conversing with anyone. It is okay to stop and think about what is going on in your mind. I try to take time to evaluate what I should say to portray what I am thinking rather than quickly responding with an inaccurate, skewed depiction of how I feel. Sometimes, this can take a long time, but we forget that it used to take days for people to share how they were feeling when writing a letter. You are allowed to take your time, and the people around you will probably be more grateful for sound advice over a quick fix.
Breaking free from the mold of instantaneous responding is not easy. But avoiding recycled words and phrases will allow us to truly care for one other and communicate in a way that makes everyone feel acknowledged and understood. Our words have weight, and we need to treat them as such.