This semester has been a flurry of emotions. I feel like a hurdler hitting each hurdle as I pass but retaining the same speed. It is hard to recover, and as the aches and bruises show, I lean into the boundaries and recovery tactics that I have been working on this semester. They do not solve all of my problems by any means, and they are still a work in progress. But, these small tips work well enough for me to want to share them with anyone who will listen.
- Say “no.”
We hear this all the time: “It’s okay to say no.” Yes, it is, but it is essential to have a valid reason. Saying no can eventually be dangerous. For me, a certain amount of “no”s in a row leads to no genuine excuse but an attempt to isolate myself from civilization in my Kresge island. There could be an assignment, or your social battery is drained. Say no, but also create the healthy habit in your mind of defining why you are saying it.
- Use the three-sentence rule.
Do you have a stressful confrontation that needs to be made? Use my new staple — the three-sentence rule. It could just be the journalist in me, but the economy of your writing is important, especially in text messages or email. Condense and define what you have to say within three sentences. This way, you aren’t putting in way too much effort that you may not even receive back or to make sure the person you’re communicating with actually reads your message. It is an energy saver that I have found very helpful. It avoids unnecessary rants and provides fewer words to be used against you.
- Set a timer.
Your clock app is your friend. Use your alarms and timers to help manage your time. Set out specific hours for yourself during the day, even if it feels weird, to spend time doing homework by yourself or on something you enjoy. I have found that setting a start and end time for myself helps me stay focused on the task at hand. If I feel like ending my time abruptly will stress me out, sometimes I give myself an extra fifteen minutes after my timer to transition into the next thing. Setting specific time aside for yourself assists in having time to relax and recover.
- Go home (or where you consider home).
There is something about getting away that brings such clarity to your own life. If you are close enough to home and it is a safe environment, go home. If you’re not close by or you need somewhere else to go, find somewhere home-adjacent like a friend’s house or a family friend’s house. Having an external perspective on the realities of a small campus is crucial to recover and adjust your mindset.
Last weekend, my friend and I took the three-hour trek home to Indiana, and it was so worth it. I made very few plans and just took the time to live outside of my Asbury bubble, resting and recovering. My favorite coffee shop’s iced coffee seeped into my veins and gave me a new understanding and perspective on my life and goals here.
- Talk to someone.
Talk to someone about what’s going on in your life, whether God, your mom, grandma, family friend, best friend, therapist or all of the above. Choose someone in your life who looks out for you and is more an outsider in the situations you are facing. Be honest and authentic to yourself, so the response you receive is what is needed over what you want to hear. If you don’t have someone you can talk to, Asbury has excellent services accessible at no cost for students. The counseling center provides one-on-one counseling and a group called Thrive, where you can process and learn with peers.