Welcome to the new year, the new decade, the new era. As Dec. 31 becomes Jan. 1, something about our human nature sees the turning of the calendar as more than just an opportunity to miswrite the date for two weeks straight. It’s a chance to start over and aim higher.
Humans strive for perfection. Even if you don’t consider yourself a perfectionist, you have an innate ability to perceive when something is less than ideal. You know what imperfection is, and therefore you desire a higher standard. To follow our desire, we adapt and work towards the higher bar. I could expound upon this from a theological standpoint of sin’s corruption of what God made good, and our constant striving as an incessant attempt to restore what sin has polluted, but what it comes down to is that we – human beings – are made in the image of God. And as author Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth wrote, “God’s heart is always beating in the rhythm of redemption.” He is working to right wrongs and we, in our own much smaller way, mirror this as we set and achieve goals.
I googled how long the average New Year’s resolution lasts and got headlines that included: “80% of New Year’s Resolutions Fail by February,” “New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Last. Do This Instead” and “Thursday, January 17: The Day Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail.” Researchers think success is a science of “five steps you should take” and they think they know the precise moment you’ll look failure in the face, but a Forbes article says it best: “Research on the efficacy of New Year’s resolutions is imprecise.”
Why is it so hard to nail down what makes a goal effective and what deems it a lofty illusion? The easy answer is that people try to make universal rules for goal-keeping when in reality our natures are so unique that different people will need different techniques for success.
Unfortunately, many goals arrive without too much foresight or preparation before a setter declares, “I’m going to do this in 2020!” only to find out two weeks later that the Whole 30 diet really is disgusting. Setting a healthy goal (whether or not it’s a restrictive diet) requires thoughtful consideration. Are you going to find the benefits you just thought of five minutes ago worth the struggle you endure five months from now?
Additionally, defeat is easy to accept, which actually comes from a narrow view of defeat. Consider a boxer: He hasn’t lost the match just because he got knocked down in the third round. He gets back up and starts round four just like he did the previous three, and he only truly fails the moment he doesn’t stand back up.
Therefore, aim for excellence in your goals instead of perfection. (News flash: you’ll fail. I don’t know when or how but at some point you will make a mistake, because we’re fallen beings and we’re destined to screw up until Jesus returns.) So give yourself grace when making resolutions. Falling once or twice doesn’t mean you need to throw in the towel; even falling twelve or thirteen times doesn’t degrade your goal. The only person who can declare a goal unmet is yourself.
Similarly, you are also the only person who can decide when to set a goal. That means that if you missed the big January 1 start date, you still have today or even tomorrow. Don’t wait to set goals for yourself until some landmark time society deems appropriate. If you want to make personal changes, do it. Don’t feel like you have to justify your goals under an umbrella term or time period, since scientists say most of those under the umbrella fail, anyway.
Despite the disparity, I’m here to tell you to take a new perspective on setting goals this year. There is no one set way of doing things, there is no official start date, and there is no harsher critic than yourself. It is possible to keep a healthy balance between taking a challenge and giving yourself grace.
But the harsh reality is that you are the person you make yourself out to be. It doesn’t matter how much advice I give or how much research you read; you’re the only one who can change how you live your life. You may be uncomfortable and you’ll probably have to put in some work, but the effort you make on a daily basis is the difference between disappointment and permanent lifestyle change.