As we near Thanksgiving, we enter a season of thankfulness that can often be limited to a few forced words uttered before our Thanksgiving feasts. This year, actually put some effort into expressing your gratitude for others. Don’t just think about those people you’re grateful for, but take intentional steps to communicate your appreciation to them.
So how does one practically go about this? Depending on how well you know this person(s), you can find specific ways to personalize your thankfulness for them. (For those passionate about the enneagram, that’s a great place to start in understanding how your loved ones most effectively feel supported.) However, for the rest of us, here are some general ways to express your appreciation for those you care about.
Send encouraging words
This can be a note full of encouraging words on why you appreciate them and what they’re doing. Or a note full of puns and jokes to uplift their spirits and keep them hopeful for the rest of the semester. Whether it’s a note through CPO or a text, know that whatever you choose, your appreciation is showcased when you put intentional thought and energy put into the note.
Shorten their to-do list
As college students, we often get into the unhealthy mode of thinking that we can do anything and everything. We often fail to realize when we need help. Therefore, by asking those you care about if they need help, you express that you appreciate them and care about what’s going on in their life. And this doesn’t mean generically and dismissively asking, “Can I help you?” While it’s a nice gesture, it’s ineffective and only makes you sound like a sales assistant clerk working at Kohls. Furthermore, it easily allows for your busy friend to say, “No, I’m good, but thanks.”
Instead, a more effective method requires intentionality and being specific in how you ask if they need assistance. For example, you could say, “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve recently been busy with x, y and z; is there any way that I can help with x?” If that doesn’t work, be proactive in your efforts, which can look different from person to person.
So, if your roommate has dirty dishes, go ahead and wash them. Take out the trash instead of watching it get full. Run an errand for them. Be available to help and support them emotionally and spiritually. This can be seen in a variety of ways, whether it be stopping to pray with them or offering a listening ear to any rants or external processing that a person needs.
Supply sustenance (or caffeine)
One quick and easy way to demonstrate your thanks for those you care about is to buy them a Hiccup pay it forward. Especially as we approach finals week, funding someone’s coffee addiction during the time of year they get the least sleep ironically showcases your care for their welfare.
To take it a step further, making time in your busy schedule to meet them for coffee and then paying for theirs displays that you not only care about them but appreciate who they are and their company.
However, if you don’t feel that supporting your peer’s coffee addiction is an adequate way to showcase your thanks, or they’re not big fans of coffee, you have the option to take them out to dinner. And no, I don’t mean swiping them into the caf (that might communicate the opposite of what you’re trying to express). Instead, offer to take them out for dinner to get a different or more satisfying meal than they’d get on campus.
Overall, taking the time to be intentional about exhibiting your appreciation will communicate your thankfulness for those you care about, regardless of what you do. And at the end of the day “using mental training to appreciate the good stuff, focusing on blessings, or expressing thanks improve multiple areas of your life, including mood, reputation, and relationships,” according to Psychology Today article “Thanking Others Is Actually Good for YOU, Research Confirms.” Therefore, we should use this “forced” season of thankfulness as a starting point to intentionally carry thankfulness into our everyday lives.