Sept. 23 marked the start of fall, but more importantly the start of “cuffing season.” As the temperature decreases, the number of couples increases. According to Psychology Today, this is the time of year that people feel the loneliest. Why is that?
Fall is a time that encourages people to find comfort and warmth in cups of hot pumpkin spice lattes, flannels and, ultimately, other people. For many Asburians, cuffing season can also be a “season of singleness,” and we all know it’s rarely a deliberate choice (no matter how much we convince ourselves that the Holy Spirit is telling us otherwise).
Cuffing season is only applicable to you if you are bold enough to make moves. The act of actively pursuing someone is appropriately called “shooting your shot.” One does not have to be on a basketball team to do so, but it sure does help. In this piece, The Asbury Collegian addresses all of the best and worst ways to go about shooting your shot at Asbury:
Have a friend shoot your shot for you
Maybe you’re not the smoothest person, but having a friend shoot your shot for you is the best way to accomplish your mission by proxy. Senior Freddie Thacker had a friend set him up on a blind date, and now he’s married to the girl he met on said date. He stated, “I didn’t really shoot my shot, per say, it just kind of fell in my lap.” We love God’s providence.
Senior Joanna Shutt wanted to help a friend out with a guy, but did not know his phone number or any of his social media handles. So what did she do, you ask? She took advantage of one of Asbury’s many resources to wing-woman her way into the young man’s Asbury email. “I was smart. I used the formula: first name.last name@asbury.edu, and just sent the email. And he said yes!”
Wake up and smell the coffee
The Hiccup may just be one of the most shot-friendly locations on campus, aside from the GC lobby. Junior Macey Fix wasted no time in utilizing the Hiccup to shoot her shot. She bought a pay-it-forward for a guy she had been eyeing and put her number on the back of it. Gotta love an independent woman.
Junior Ethan Sirles used a similar tactic by having the barista write “Homecoming?” on a milkshake for a girl. Despite the relationship not working, the shot did, and that’s what counts.
Creativity
Sliding into the DM’s may work, but it’s just boring. Sophomore BJ Patterson once slid into a girl’s DM’s with a GIF of Steph Curry shooting a basketball that said “Hey.” Did he make it? Yes. Was it creative? Up for debate.
Shooting your shot offers the opportunity to be creative and show some real character. Senior Collyn Bradley said she likes to take sugar packets and write “Daddy” on them, then proceeds to drop it in front of a guy and say, “Oh, you dropped your nametag.” Now that’s creativity at its finest.
Shooting your shot is not for the faint of heart; one must be bold to do so. Junior Dunsyn Adeliyi advises going up to whomever you are interested in and speaking to them in person. It is important to be confident and show them you are interested.
“And most importantly you just have to be part of the soccer team, and then your shot will be shot well,” he said.
Junior Jessica Hunt said that during her freshman year she lost her student ID and a very kind and determined young man returned it to her, but with this ultimatum: “You can have your ID back if you let me have your number.” Despite the young man’s valiant attempt at shooting his shot, it did not work; regardless, we applaud him for his bravery.
There is an old proverb that says, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” I can certainly tell you that the way to a woman’s heart is no different. Junior Jack Widener says that the key to shooting your shot is all about pursuing a relationship with God and finding someone that is doing the same. However, the simple answer, he said, is, “Asian food all the way.”
Forced group interactions
Nothing gets people together like obligation. Chapel, classes and TAG groups are a breeding ground for budding relationships. Senior Kirstyn Madill used the power of Hughes to summon a date for herself. She and her chapel buddy were big college football rivals and decided to use that to her advantage.
“If Ohio State won, I would wear Ohio apparel around campus,” she said. “If Michigan won, he would have to take me out.” Needless to say, she did not end up having to wear Ohio State apparel.
Hit the books
Using studying as an excuse to hang out is the perfect method to not look sus while shooting your shot. After all, we are in college. It’s all about finding common interests, said Senior Chandler Dobbs. Once you speak to each other, you ask them to study, “and then it turns into a date. You ain’t studying at all, first off.”
Sophomore Sam Diaz says that inviting someone to the library to “study” is just a fun way to hang out and crack jokes. Diaz stated that Kinlaw is not the only place where this can happen; the bistro and caf work just as well.
“Even playing ping pong in the stuce is a way to show them how athletic you are, which is a way to shoot your shot,” Diaz added.
Junior Josh Hamilton believes that social media can be a great gauge on figuring out if someone is interested in you. He once gave a girl his Snapchat and offered to help her with homework whenever she needed it. By giving her his Snapchat, she holds the power. If she snaps him back, she is at least slightly interested, but if not then he has his answer.
“Asbury girls will take initiative if they feel it is right,” he said.
The friend zone
There is not an actual statistic for the number of people stuck in the “friend zone.” It begs the question if the friend zone, the purgatory of relationships, even exists. Senior Caleb Shaffer says that the friend zone does not exist; rather, it is a place “made by entitled men who feel women are obliged to date them.”
In contrast, freshman Caleb Lewis believes the friend zone is real. “It’s okay to be in the friend zone for a little bit.” Lewis advises that a technique to getting out of the friend zone requires showing one’s qualities and not being a statistic. “If you don’t want to be in the friend zone, get out of the friend zone.”
Senior Frankie Taylor explained that he met his girlfriend when they were both hired as TAG Coordinators. “When I got the text that Maddie was my TAG partner I literally said, ‘Who?’ I had no idea who she was,” he said. For over two years Frankie said that shooting his shot was all about being a friend. Eventually, mutual feelings were developed and he stated, “I am madly in love and I kind of have to thank the friend zone for it.”
Juniors Chad Carmack and Hannah Thibaudeau recently got engaged, but Carmack expressed he stayed in the friend zone for over four days before he won Thibaudeau’s heart. Their relationship blossomed after a series of “dank memes” were exchanged.
“Send 5 dank memes in a row, then a spicy meme. If they like the spicy meme more than the dank meme, put a ring on her finger and say ‘In the eyes of God we are married now,’” said Carmack.
If one of these stories inspired someone to shoot their shot, this article was not written in vain. It is time to stop dribbling and start shooting. In the words of Wayne Gretski and Michael Scott, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”