On a surface level, we may claim that we don’t really celebrate perfectionism. Inspirational quotes like “progress, not perfection” seem to be anywhere and everywhere: from social media posts and fitness ads to Hobby Lobby-esque wall art. You’ve likely heard professors champion similar sentiments, telling you that it’s okay to turn in something that’s not your best if it means you get adequate rest, or that they expect some grammar mistakes in your blue book exam because it’s more about the content than how pretty your sentences sound. When someone close to us claims to be a perfectionist, we often try to encourage them to be less so, telling them that they will be valued and appreciated even when they make mistakes. Are we sure that we see perfectionism as such a negative, though? If you’re the type to claim the label of “perfectionist,” do you truly announce it with zero sense of pride? If you’re the type to watch a friend stay up till dawn to write six different drafts of an essay and claim that you could never do the same, is there no hint of jealousy laced in that sentiment?
Beneath the surface level, most of us treat perfectionism as a positive– as something that is ultimately beneficial to society and deserves to be rewarded. Childhood provides plenty of opportunities to internalize it. In school, for example, grading systems teach us that there is a perfect 100% to aspire to. The farther away that you are from that perfection, the closer you are to “failing.”
The media that we consume when we’re young pushes similar ideas. Dance Moms, one of my adolescent self’s all-time favorite shows, featured a young dancer named Maddie who was constantly referred to as “type A” or as a “perfectionist.” Although she was depicted as someone who struggled with her self-inflicted pressure, Maddie was also heavily favored throughout her time on the show. Students who came after her aspired to be the “new Maddie,” the perfectionist who was given endless rewards and opportunities.
Those of us who learn to celebrate perfectionism in childhood often carry the sentiment into college academics, and the consequences are numerous. In 2023, Sage Journals published a study titled “Perfectionism, Academic Stress, Rumination and Worry,” examining the relationships between these factors in college students. The study found a “direct relationship between perfectionism and academic stress,” as well as evidence that “academic stress and repetitive negative thoughts … have a significant and positive effect on depressive and anxiety symptoms in students exhibiting increased levels of perfectionistic traits.” In other words, a perfectionistic mindset both contributes to increased levels of academic stress and makes students more susceptible to developing symptoms of anxiety and depression due to that stress.
For some students, it can actually hinder their academic performance. My own perfectionistic tendencies may sometimes help me to achieve higher grades, but other times they cause major procrastination issues and inhibit my ability to exercise good time management. They can also stop me from pushing myself creatively in favor of taking the “safe” route that I know I can do well, which is not a great way to approach learning.
If those of us with perfectionistic tendencies don’t work to address those mindsets now, they won’t magically go away after we graduate, either. How many times have we seen the stereotypical “I’m too much of a perfectionist” listed as a recommended response to the “what are your weaknesses” question asked in job interviews? It’s stereotypical for a reason– we can list it as a weakness, but it will rarely be a trait that a workplace doesn’t celebrate. How many times have we heard postgrad employees complain about a lack of work-life balance, taking their work home with them or feeling pressure to work overtime even if it’s unpaid?
Perfectionistic standards will likely bleed into other areas of our lives as well, like our relationships with other people. Have you ever shied away from inviting a friend to your dorm room because it was too messy, or invited them anyway but then apologized profusely for it? Have you ever been so focused on saying the “right” thing in a conversation that you weren’t able to actually take in what the other person was saying? Perfectionism favors an obsession with appearance over deep connections with others.
But aren’t there some instances where the rewards of perfectionism outweigh the costs?
I don’t think so. I think that no matter how you twist it, perfection will always be an unhealthy and unattainable standard. The very nature of perfectionism demands that we never be satisfied as long as we operate within its structure. A society that views productivity as an indicator of our value may celebrate and reward it, but the relational and health-related costs of perfectionism outweigh the gratification that we might receive. We have to choose to see ourselves as human beings who are worth far more than a perfect grade, a perfect conversation or a perfect performance.
