The phrase “the world is your oyster” has been parroted to me by relatives, teachers, etc., from early childhood to age 21. The intention has always been kind– a source of encouragement and recognition of potential or an attempt to cultivate a sense of excitement towards a world that may otherwise feel scary and limiting. It’s not a bad sentiment as far as inspirational phrases go, but those same things that make it inspiring can also make it overwhelming. If the world is full of endless options and opportunities, how do we know what to choose for ourselves? How do we commit to something while knowing that there are thousands of other choices we could make that may be better ones?
These questions are anxiety-inducing to say the least, especially in an age where the internet offers us more options than ever before. Making any sort of decision means rejecting other seemingly great options, from what to eat to how to decorate your dorm room to what to major in. Social media also offers a platform for anyone and everyone to romanticize their victories and announce their regrets, telling the world with certainty which paths will work and which will not (and, of course, every opinion contradicts another). As college students, decision-making anxiety can be exacerbated by the college experience being framed as the setup for the rest of our lives.
Moving through life with endless options can make me feel like every choice is the wrong one for a reason that I’ve yet to find out. I notice this most after I make a decision and immediately begin thinking about everything that I’ll miss out on if I don’t change course. Most of the time, the dissatisfaction doesn’t come from a dislike of what I’ve decided to do; it comes from a fear of missing out on everything else.
If the world is my oyster and I have endless opportunities available to me, then choosing a good path must mean steering away from other good paths. As someone who wants to do everything, this is a painful thing to accept, especially in college. I’m studying subjects that I love, but there are other wonderful subjects that I won’t have time to explore before I graduate. There are careers that I’m interested in that my majors are preparing me for, but there are other interesting careers that are about as far away from my fields of study as they can be.
This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, however, nor does it have to be as scary as we make it out to be. The idea that the decisions we make at 21 will lock us into one path for the rest of our lives is a myth. A 2023 report by the World Economic Forum showed that the average number of jobs that workers occupy in their lifetimes is 12. In addition, statistics showed that the “average age for making a career change is 39,” and the report suggested that the number of people switching career fields is only increasing. If the careers that we are currently working towards truly do not work out, or if we simply reach a point one day where we want to try something else, we’ll be far from alone in looking for new opportunities.
The reality is that, among a number of good decisions, there is no perfect choice. In my own experience, chasing perfection in decision-making leads me to second-guess myself, focusing far too much on what I don’t have. I’ve found that it’s much easier to make fulfilling decisions if I operate from a place of appreciation than from fear. It’s okay to pick a focus for now.
