It was weird. Seeing people act like this. Her face nuzzled in his chest. His arms tightly wrapped around her, as if there was some kind of feral animal out to get them while we stood on the freshly mowed Reasoner green – which sees less bugs than the dorm rooms, let alone some rampant beast. Although we are a private university, many couples like to make their status very public. So apparent that if you accidentally miss one of their cuddle sessions in the middle of the Bistro, you will surely find them somewhere else getting snoogly oogily in another super open space.
“We won!” Many couples seem to parade around all the 27.3 remaining singles (the decimal accounts for the situationships that still think they have a shot, but… you’re technically single, so…). Yet, the saddest thing to watch is the singles who scramble around, searching harder to find someone than me trying to find my car keys before I’m late to work. But who am I to say anything? I, one of the last seniors to be leaving this university without a rock or any romantic prospects, have officially “lost the battle.” But, here’s the thing: there is no game. A relationship status isn’t some sport – and if you think of it like this, then I beg you to ask yourself, if you are or hypothetically were in a relationship, would you truly love your partner? Or are they just some figure you can parade around with? Because that’s not a virtuous relationship; that’s a pathetic façade.
“You always have some sort of crazy interesting tea.” My friends from large universities giggle as I talk about the latest Asbury lore. Coming from a big high school, when I started university here, it was a culture shock. Though the campus was obviously bigger, the student body was smaller. I was able to quickly meet the majority of my class in a day – whereas I just met, for the first time, a fellow classmate in the same graduating class from high school as I. And then it hit me. Since my freshman year of university, I had pondered why finding a romantic partner felt so important to us. Almost dire, even. It’s because of the Asbury bubble.
That bubble. It’s some sort of warped tunnel, I swear. It’s hard to remember that the outside world exists sometimes – I salute those who do not have cars. Inside our little home, it is normal to be pushed into relationships, shipping people together, knowing everyone’s business even if you don’t know them personally. The biggest shock for me was when having opposite gender friends was seen as abnormal. That there was no possibility for us to just be friends. Or that a person wasn’t looking to be in a relationship or wasn’t wanting to be married. And so we become stuck in this mentality, slumped in a bucket pulling one another down like lobsters. Because this is the only correct way to live your life, right? That you have to be in a relationship to be happy. That by being with someone is better than being alone. That if you aren’t engaged, or married or in a relationship by the time you graduate, you have lost or you will never find someone.
To this, I laugh. Because it’s ridiculous.
“I am in love with you” are powerful words. Truly. But so overused. If I’m being honest, I’m not even sure I can tell you what this means. Some of you, especially in a relationship, are in the same boat. What makes you feel this way? Is it the way their smile lights up your soul, even when everything has gone wrong? Maybe it’s how they do little things for you without asking. If your thoughts were just like these examples, I wonder if we are forgetting the fragile line between love and infatuation. Because love is not about the way they make you feel. It’s about how you make them feel. Love is a two-way street. Infatuation is not.
I want to ardently love someone, and I want someone to want to feel the same for me. And I think a lot of singles want that as well, no matter how much we complain about the gushy couples surrounding us. With that being said, it is not something that will tear me apart if it does not happen. I am content with everything I have and who I have and get to care for and love, even if it is not a romantic partner. And if the time ever does arrive and I meet someone, I will know that they were worth the wait.
Photo courtesy of Mind Connections.
