As we move into the summer months, it’s natural to start dreaming big. We make plans for hanging with friends, getting a job, enjoying our newfound freedom and just relaxing. But somewhere along the way, these summer plans tend to get tangled up with the summer ideal. This ideal comes from all the perfect stories and pictures and videos we are bombarded with online. And especially in college, there can be a pressure to do something big with your summer — something you can’t wait to tell your classmates about in the fall. There is an emphasis on aesthetics and image, but perhaps it is time we break out of this mindset.
The most impactful summer of my life was the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college. On the outside, it didn’t seem like anything special; I didn’t work, and I didn’t even really stay in contact with anyone from Asbury. However, there were so many things going on that the outsider observer was blind to.
As the semester ended last spring, I needed a change. So I took the time to reflect on my life as it was and imagine where I wanted to be in four months. Changes were anywhere from working out more and waking up earlier (probably the most difficult to implement, as I am very notably not a morning person) to shifting mental and emotional mindsets. I put in the work over the summer to reach the goals I had set for myself, and I stepped onto campus in the fall a very different person than the one who had left campus four months prior.
All this to say that image is not everything. What others see is not always indicative of what lies underneath. The importance of how others perceive us has been subconsciously ingrained in our minds by a society that is obsessed with appearances. It can be easy to slip into that mindset and fall into the trap of caring too much about our image.
The reality is that we all project something — whether it be a version of ourselves that we think others want to see or a version that we have been told is the “right” one. And yes, we should be aware of how we are presenting ourselves, but not at the expense of our authenticity.
It seems to me that in our current day, people are not presenting the best part of themselves, but rather something that isn’t them at all. Why do we care so much about what other people think? Why are image and reputation and appearance so important to us?
Imagine if we put down those barriers and set aside the illusion of aesthetic perfection, no longer comparing ourselves to a fake persona on a screen – or even personas we encounter in real life. Because I don’t think this just applies to social media. I think we have let it bleed into our everyday interactions. We are constantly assessing how we are coming across to people and managing the social dynamics that come with that. But if we stopped focusing on ourselves in human interactions and instead focused on connection with the other person, maybe we wouldn’t have as many problems. We make relationships harder than they need to be sometimes. The remedy to this is just being real with each other. Be open and honest, and the rest will follow.
How do we reach that point? Stop focusing your energy on perfecting your image, and instead, better yourself. Focus on the root of the problem. Trust me, if you truly put in the work, the results will speak for themselves. And then maybe we can stop all being fake with each other and actually find what it means to live well.
Courtesy of Unsplash.
