By Rachel Terry, Opinion Editor
An uncomfortable array of emotions washed over me as tears leaked from my eyes. “I’m not ready,” I said to myself as I stared at the email that stated, “Your expected graduation date is December 2016.”
I felt a check in my heart and realized I had never found Mat Kearney lyrics to be more appropriate. “We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting for the perfect time to come,” he sings on my favorite album “City of Black and White.”
Kearney’s current tour brought him here to Lexington last week. I stood in the crowd around the stage absorbing every lyric and every chord. His music created space for me to reflect on the past, feel the weight of the present and remember the hope of the future.
[perfectpullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Being right is a distant second to the joy of compassion.[/perfectpullquote]
As for the past, I was never “ready” for college. I arrived at Asbury as an insecure freshman without a strong sense of identity or purpose. Maybe others can relate. I found my identity in the things I did, like cross country and camping, and I allowed the people around me to define who I was instead of receiving my identity from Jesus.
Additionally, I took pride in what I thought to be true without giving others credit for having valid worldviews different from my own. I was ready to defend what I believed about God, this country and the world without exploring other possibilities and research.
Three long months spent in North Africa shattered this false identity I had held onto for so long. Surrounded by a culture with little to no knowledge of Jesus and away from all my friends, I was stripped of everything from which I once acquired value. In my heart, compassion and empathy replaced entitlement, and humility replaced pride. I learned to admit when I was wrong rather than defending myself to save face.
As rapped by Lecrae, “Being right is a distant second to the joy of compassion.”
As for the present, I still may not feel “ready,” but I am grateful that my time at Asbury has taught me to think critically. I hold open-mindedness and compassion as my most treasured attributes and hope that others will do the same. Though this university has been instrumental in shaping my thought processes and character, I find freedom in not being bound to every stance it may take on what is happening in the world.
For the sake of nostalgia, I treasure deep friendships, a newspaper unafraid to begin tough conversations, corporate worship three times a week, an incredibly talented cross country team and, of course, spicy chicken. Each has contributed to my character, for better or for worse.
As for the future, I will defend that hope is most valuable during times of tragedy, and that rejecting the existence of injustice and suffering in our world cheapens hope instead of encouraging it. I will also look to Jesus as the author of all Truth and Light and believe that He most often uses us when we least expect it.
Therefore, I embrace the grief that comes with this time in our world, my country and in my own life’s transitions, yet I know this is not the end. Until then, let my favorite Mat Kearney lyrics serve as encouragement.
“On and on and on we go, and I don’t understand this windy road,” he sings, “but nothing worth anything ever goes down easy.”